I am… nervous.

Yeah, it is almost five ion the morning here in (eventually) sunny Florida… And I am nervous. I go to the home base today in a couple of hours, with carry on ONLY luggage in tow and a bit of apprehension in the ole ticker. I may yet be a young lad in the minds of my peers, but no matter what going home with not the impending issue being one of wine, women or song, of which I have had a reference of all of the above, but one of UNEMPLOYMENT being the topic of conversation… I tend to be a bit gun shy when facing the family with such, and the family is the firs that I am to see when I arrive. A short taxi ride up to the parent’s house and I am in the door to house sit as well as dog watch for the next ten days, with full familiar support in tow, seeing as how I was recently let known that the friggin CHECH grandparents will be in the area.

Ugh, if life was not a spot of trouble enough.

I have, according to the calendar, been out of work now for the past three weeks. Don’t get me wrong, I am financially sound, but still the worry of having to look the fam in the face and let them know that yes indeed-dy I plan on not working until something says “HI!! WE NEED YOU!!!!” arrives is a bit daunting.

Wish me luck mates.

This next period of time should be pretty trying.

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What the hell? I leave you guys alone for a couple of weeks…

So there has been some apparent happenings n the world since I dropped off the map, and all are significant. To itemize:

1. The Canadian government dissolved itself due to a miscommunication in their current food laws that insists that yes, brown gravy on french (or is it “freedom”?) fries has been banned from all provinces except Wisconsin, and small parts of a currently unforeseen additional province… Aruba. Who would have known that Canadian explorers would have discovered one of their primary places to vacation?

2. Libya is now under the control of white flag-waving forces, the U.N. I digress, they can’t even pull off a simple CITY SIEGE without some human rights activists moving in and deciding that yes, though rape and pillaging is occurring, the fact that the local water table is at an untolerable Ph level that there needs to be a “strongly worded letter” issued?

3. U.S. gas prices are out of control. Solution? – SELL YOUR CAR FOR REALLY CHEAP…. to me. Email to be forthcoming.

4. Unemployment… Nay, FUNemployment, seems to be alright. Alright when you got a hell of a bonus and money saved, but I digress.

5. I miss my mates, but shall never miss KC as her and I are grafted at the hip.

6. Cheers to you all.

OMG! Old Iron… HE LIVES!

Yeah yeah, no need to fret: I am in an environment that breaks from the one that I have lived in for a few lifetimes… the overseas one. I am still alive (and currently attempting to be that one thing that all strive for, human) but there has been some complications which have been overcome.

Thank you for your patience.

Thank you for understanding.

Time for some right chaos, eh?

Sunday – A day of Jams

Another half-day Sunday, another gig at one of the pubs on site. We rolled in around four in the afternoon, right when the bar decided to open, and started throwing around our gear like we were annoyed with it. Instruments were rigged up, the PA speakers were put in their optimal places, and cables snaked all over the place, reminiscent of the Well of Souls from Raiders of the Lost Ark. The new singer, Mr. Ian, took one look at the madness that we were throwing together and asked a pretty riveting question about the whole thing:

“How in the hell do you guys know where all of that crap has to go, and what cable goes where?”

-I guess after doing this for some time you just know.

Here’s one of South African’s finest guitar players, Fuzzy, making rock n’ roll look easy:

And Rod, looking as stoic as usual:

Oh look! The back of my head!

Dan, GET BACK ON THE DRUMS!!!

-And smile like a fool, dammit!

It was hot as hell and we were in the Niger Delta, a place where no HUMAN should have to be… but we had a great time. I hope the next time any of you are stuck in a situation that just generally sucks the tail pipe of filth and horror that you are able to make the most of it… like we have.

Cheers to all of you out there.

 

 

 

Lateral thinking can be dangerous

So I was carousing around on my usual dumps of all things news, and wouldn’t you know it I come across yet another group of “misguided youths”, newsspeak for “muslims committed to jihad”, who apparently decided to almost kick off in Italy. It was the usual chaff, something about them:

“…setting up a group that aimed to incite discrimination, racial and religious hatred, violence and jihad against Christians and Jews,” police in the northern city of Brescia said in a statement.”

My interest was not piqued until I hit upon this line:

ANSA news agency reported that a note had been found on one of the Moroccans that called for revenge against the pope for converting Egyptian-born Magdi Allam, a former columnist for Italian daily Corriere della Sera.

-This of course being because the Pope himself had baptized the fellow into Catholicism himself. An idea started to take hold in the ol’ noggin that finally distilled itself down to one simple concept / scenario: what would actually happen if a terrorist, in the name of Allah and Islam, was actually able to perform this “revenge” against the Pope? What would the response be from the HUNDREDS of professed Catholics actually be, when confronted with the fact that another large religion has attempted to strike at the heart of their avowed path to the Divine?

It is actually quite frightening to think that this could happen during my life time as the terrorist groups that wrap themselves in Islam are almost daily becoming more and more emboldened through a mix of “tolerance”, lack of faith, and weakened sociological values, leaving the door open for some pretty extreme things to not only be conceived, but to potentially occur. In my mind’s eye, if something like this were to happen there would be a bloodbath that would make Auschwitz look like a playground, as two sects, empowered by belief, do more than shout words at one another or distribute literature denouncing the other.

Sorry for the doom and gloom but this actually does scare me.

MY PRAYERS HAVE BEEN ANSWERED!!!

This has to be one of the greatest medical breakthroughs of modern science: Russian scientists, always the most awesome in the realm of practicality, have finally shattered the barrier that separated me from the limited filtration capacity of my birth liver and my love of the fruit of the vine.

Behold, I give you the BIONIC LIVER!!!

Scientists from the Russian city of Chelyabinsk have developed “a bio-artificial liver” which not only cleans the blood, but is also capable of “jumpstarting” a sick body.

Blood passes through a special filter to get rid of toxins and cleaned blood comes back. After the procedure, even if a patient has 30% of living cells (liver cells), the liver begins to work itself, the scientists say.

This will reshape the realm of libations for MILLENNIA to come, as the potentials are virtually infinite. Nit it a little too hard that night and want to keep on going? Well there buddy, plug yourself up to a second liver and in half the time that it would take for you to process your nightly drink you are back to norm and rip-roaring to go! Hell, you could carry a couple around in a backpack and swap them out as needed, like a friggin oil filter change!

-Alright, enough of that. I now return you to your regularly scheduled interpretations of life, love and politics.

(Thanks Insty)

Aghast! Aghast I tell you!

Aghast is the operative word tonight, as the State Department recently released separate reports on all of the goings-on in the Mid East, on such things as the Lybian air force strafing protesters in Tripoli, the Baharaini Royal Guard bagging them some fine succulent anti-monarchy protester meat for a good din-din, with even the Iranian military participating in a fun round of “stir the crowd… with automatic gunfire”. Every report that I have come across mentions the words “gravely concerned”, “horrified”, and “fuck me, is Israel building even MORE settlements?!?!?! Well let those jew bastards know that WE KNOW WHAT YOU ARE DOING AND IT IS REALLY REALLY BAD and stuff.”

-Obama’s family last seen pondering these world-shaking events while sitting in a ski lodge sipping on cocoa and eating ribs.

What is the high-and-mighty Chief of the Free World doing to respond to this potentially global resurfacing of the Mid Eastern map? How is the Man at the Top ™ gearing up to assist potentially emerging democracies and alleviate the fear that fundamentalist Islam will entrench itself even deeper into countries that are on the fence concerning the makeup of their new governments?

Why coaching his daughter’s basketball team, of course! The political nuclear option is being exercised in the streets by oppressed peoples in countries that could emerge as some of the most staunch supporters we have ever had if we participated in helping the indigenous peoples get the governments that they need (note as well: this has all occurred WITHOUT U.S. military intervention, so the cost wasn’t passed to us! WIN WIN baby!!) and what does this schlep do? Fucking don those cross-trainers there buddy, and don’t forget that the opposing team’s power center is pretty aggressive for a NINE YEAR OLD, so you might want to get her some double coverage mister, pronto!

-And all the State Department can do is, according to my interpretation of the bullshit that they have been committing to paper statements that have been released, is stand on the sideline, AGHAST, while wringing their collective hands and doing…

Fuck.

All.

I will not be the first person to state this, but I personally believe that we have the worst, THE WORST, diplomatic stance we have ever had.How can an opportunity like this NOT be taken advantage of by our country? Also, you think Russia and China are going to sit this one out? If you do I know a nice boulder that has room underneath it for at least a family of four, and it takes pets!

Who let these numpties in office, and who has LEFT them there?