MY PRAYERS HAVE BEEN ANSWERED!!!
February 25, 2011 5 Comments
This has to be one of the greatest medical breakthroughs of modern science: Russian scientists, always the most awesome in the realm of practicality, have finally shattered the barrier that separated me from the limited filtration capacity of my birth liver and my love of the fruit of the vine.
Behold, I give you the BIONIC LIVER!!!
Scientists from the Russian city of Chelyabinsk have developed “a bio-artificial liver” which not only cleans the blood, but is also capable of “jumpstarting” a sick body.
Blood passes through a special filter to get rid of toxins and cleaned blood comes back. After the procedure, even if a patient has 30% of living cells (liver cells), the liver begins to work itself, the scientists say.
This will reshape the realm of libations for MILLENNIA to come, as the potentials are virtually infinite. Nit it a little too hard that night and want to keep on going? Well there buddy, plug yourself up to a second liver and in half the time that it would take for you to process your nightly drink you are back to norm and rip-roaring to go! Hell, you could carry a couple around in a backpack and swap them out as needed, like a friggin oil filter change!
-Alright, enough of that. I now return you to your regularly scheduled interpretations of life, love and politics.