MY PRAYERS HAVE BEEN ANSWERED!!!

This has to be one of the greatest medical breakthroughs of modern science: Russian scientists, always the most awesome in the realm of practicality, have finally shattered the barrier that separated me from the limited filtration capacity of my birth liver and my love of the fruit of the vine.

Behold, I give you the BIONIC LIVER!!!

Scientists from the Russian city of Chelyabinsk have developed “a bio-artificial liver” which not only cleans the blood, but is also capable of “jumpstarting” a sick body.

Blood passes through a special filter to get rid of toxins and cleaned blood comes back. After the procedure, even if a patient has 30% of living cells (liver cells), the liver begins to work itself, the scientists say.

This will reshape the realm of libations for MILLENNIA to come, as the potentials are virtually infinite. Nit it a little too hard that night and want to keep on going? Well there buddy, plug yourself up to a second liver and in half the time that it would take for you to process your nightly drink you are back to norm and rip-roaring to go! Hell, you could carry a couple around in a backpack and swap them out as needed, like a friggin oil filter change!

-Alright, enough of that. I now return you to your regularly scheduled interpretations of life, love and politics.

(Thanks Insty)

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About Old Iron
I'm just a guy that works overseas alot and likes to play just as hard as I work. Been to a FEW countries, know a shitload of people all over, and generally have a good time wherever I go. -Oh, and I am currently in between girlfriends, and strangely enough and perfectly happy with that status. In the long run hookers are cheaper. Take my word on that.

5 Responses to MY PRAYERS HAVE BEEN ANSWERED!!!

  1. Buck says:

    Heh. WHY am I NOT surprised it was the Rooshians who achieved this marvelous breakthrough? One of my guys commented to me as we were “wheels up” after a month in Moscow… “Damn. I’m glad THAT’S over. One more week and I’d have needed a new liver.” As for me? I was glad we had a designated drinker.

  2. Old Iron says:

    Those guys really can imbibe like fish and are almost frightening in that capacity… but nothing can touch the VOLUMES that the friggin Scots can handle. They are like machines that run on ethanol, never requiring but the smallest ingestion of water to keep themselves from shrivelling up from dehydration. Good call on the designated drinker, as I too have done the same thing.

    -Usually I get nominated, but that’s cool too 😉

  3. Fay says:

    Designated drinker LOL! I’ve never heard that one before.

  4. Old Iron says:

    Here’s the thing about the designated drinker that makes him so valuable, especially overseas –

    Some cultures out there have social interactions primarily based on the consumption of alcohol. The designated drinker (at least as I know it) is the one that puts himself to the front of the group, committing himself to the cause of social interaction and, in turn, consuming all of the environmentally-required alcohol so that the others can keep a clear head. It is a time honored position and one that a person takes not for the joys of a libatious activity, but to act as a shield to your friends and compatriots.

    -You get pretty hammered in the process too, so there is that…

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