You so GANGSTA!!!

(-And now for a break in your regularly scheduled Olympics coverage from KC)

Yo dawgs, dis yo homey D-Flave comni atcha from de ghetto fabulous floor of de House o’ Repra… repra… dudes n bitches dat we voted inta office, n imma here to tell ya dat our homey, da big mutha-f*kkin O-DAWG gunna sho us up in here how ta lay dat SMACK DOWN on some irritating Republican BIZ-NATCHES! Ya HUUUURD me!

-Alright, enough of that garbage, but it was the first thing that ran through my mind after reading the linked article. I mean come on, it reads like a speech by Al Sharpton with dashes of Black Panther ideology… which leads me into something that has annoyed the living hell out of me for some time and was highlighted in this opinion piece. Allow me to explain.

I, being of slightly shaky sanity and a body that a midget would laugh at, am from the American South; Alabama to be exact. I can proudly say that I have never spent more than 5 days at any given time above the Mason / Dixon line and feel that I have lived a fuller life due to that very fact, but this one nagging misconception has followed me for a large part of my life.

The misconception is that due me being from a state that kicked off the civil rights movement back in ’68, I am a completely full blown racist and have white sheets with pointy white hoods hanging in my closet, to include on in the boot of my car in case of racist emergencies (they happen!). -That I have this internal belief that if I were to touch a person of any other race snakes will crawl out of my eyes and my feet will bust into flames… or some crap like that. Strangely enough the bulk of the people that accuse me of this are not from overseas, where everyone thinks that all Americans ride horses, own a six shooter and rope cattle for fun and profit: nope, I primarily get it….

…FROM PEOPLE UP NORTH.

Case in point: I was in Green Bay, Wisconsin at a pub with my then-Iraqi girlfriend and my buddy from Texas, having a gay old time (or as much of a good time in you can have in that micro city), when OF COURSE the “You aren’t from around here are you?” conversation came out. We all had no problem shocking the living hell out of this broad by letting her know all of our original locations to include the places that we either work or have worked, which was one hell of a crowd pleaser and allowed us to see her jaw almost literally hit the floor. Good times if you ask me, but I digress.  The point that I am trying to get to is that later in the evening I asked the girl, a resident basically of a Canadian annex in the States, if she had really ever travelled outside of either the State that she is from, the country that she is from, or at LEAST the city that she lives in. Getting the predicted response of a resounding NO I then followed up with the kicker: what, prior to her meeting people (us) from various places around the globe, what was her previous mental impression of each of the people before her?

The Texan? – A cowboy.

The Alabamian? – You guessed it, a Klan member.

The Iraqi? – Like I even need to tell you THAT one.

Sorry about the roundabout reference here, but I am leading up to a fairly valid point. In the early stages of my travels I actively attempted to shrug off the inherent perceptions of the place of my birth. I speak bits of a crapload of different languages, have travelled the world, and am currently working in Africa around about 5000 local indiginies. I have dated women literally from all races, creeds and backgrounds, and have even brought a few of them home. Hell, I run a website with a CANOOK for Christ’s sake!

-And then I read an article that is asking our supposed “post-racism” president to pander to a friggin stereotype to get shit done on Capitol Hill.

What.

The.

Fuck.

Gangsta y’all.

EDITOR’S NOTE:

I am no longer dating that Iraqi chick. AT ALL.

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About Old Iron
I'm just a guy that works overseas alot and likes to play just as hard as I work. Been to a FEW countries, know a shitload of people all over, and generally have a good time wherever I go. -Oh, and I am currently in between girlfriends, and strangely enough and perfectly happy with that status. In the long run hookers are cheaper. Take my word on that.

2 Responses to You so GANGSTA!!!

  1. Buck says:

    Heh. Two things… (1) My Best Man from my second marriage and life-long friend is from Tennessee and has a cut-it-with-a-knife drawl. He also has two post-graduate degrees and makes some serious damned money. Wanna guess his pet peeve? He’d back you up, too… as his main beef is with damnyankees.

    (2) re: the CNN piece. Yer Man missed the entire point. If the Dims would form their firing squad in a straight line rather than the usual, customary and unreasonable circle they might could get shit done. Just sayin’.

  2. Old Iron says:

    I actually did catch that point, but to trot out a racial stereotype (i.e. gangsta) to get this point across devolved the author’s attempt of promoting unity within the Democratic party to a “Yo BLACK GUY, you need to get all of these WHITE PEOPLE to toe the line.” -And to then attempt to associate the comment with Al Capone in the end, as if to disassociate the title reference of “gangsta” to a white guy? This author was literally all over the place in his colloquialisms.

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