24 Hours of Lemons

Alright friends and fellows, I need some assistance here. A year ago I discovered that a friend of mine, Mark, is a bona fide race car driver who is entering into this 24 hour race that has extremely simplistic rules: buy a car for 500 bucks or less and try to make it last the entire 24 hours on the track. Sounds easy enough, right? If anything it sounds like a complete hoot so I decided to sponsor their car. From the site:

Each LeMons race is for cars purchased, fixed up, and track-prepped for a total of 500 dollars or less. But before reaching the grid, you’ll have to survive trials like the Personal-Injury-Lawyer Anti-Slalom, the Marxist-Valet Parking Challenge, and the Wide Open Throttle Rodthrowapalooza. Twelve hours into the race, the car voted People’s Choice is called in and awarded a cash prize; simultaneously, the car voted People’s Curse is called in and summarily destroyed. At the end of 24 hours, a gala awards ceremony plies the survivors with trophies, plaques, and four-figure purses in canvas bags full of nickels. What’s not to like?

-Here’s the thing folks… I need some help. No, I don’t need the money to sponsor this year’s race, what I need… Is a saying to paint on the car. Yes, for my measly donation I get to literally get painted on the hood of the car ANYTHING THAT I WANT. To reiterate: there is no limit to the wording or references that are placed on this vehicle. I was thinking that I wanted something horribly crass to go on there, but I did that last year and feel like it is a bit overplayed.

I am basically saying that ANYTHING GOES.

Aaaaaaand BEGIN.


About Old Iron
I'm just a guy that works overseas alot and likes to play just as hard as I work. Been to a FEW countries, know a shitload of people all over, and generally have a good time wherever I go. -Oh, and I am currently in between girlfriends, and strangely enough and perfectly happy with that status. In the long run hookers are cheaper. Take my word on that.

6 Responses to 24 Hours of Lemons

  1. ~KC~ says:

    “I Crush Bones for Cash”

    Serves two purposes… its a saying I tell you all the time… and one you like… and one that is almost very apropos!!! (OK that was 3 purposes).

    That’s my vote!

  2. I’m terrible at coming up with one-liners… but I really like the concept of the race. Sounds like fun and entertainment to say the least. Well, maybe the first couple of hours!

  3. alison says:

    I like what you weren’t really suggesting! “Anything Goes”

  4. t i m says:


  5. Old Iron says:

    (Pardon the crassness)

    I wanted to put on there “This vehicle runs on 94 octane c*m and we just filled the tank; wanna shake my hand?” but I thought that an open forum could come up with better.

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