The Eh… At It’s Best…

So I am cheating.
I bought stuff at a non-official Sponsor of the 2010 Olympics.
I ought to be ashamed.
Well… I’m not.
In fact, I’m really happy I did… because had I not, I would not have stumbled across this amazing Canadian gem:  a book by brothers Ian and Will Ferguson entitled How to be a Canadian.

First off, let me make something clear: if you are

without a sense of humour & cannot laugh at oneself

anal retentive

stuck up

too proud to see beyond your own reflection

… then this book is definitely NOT for you.  Canadian or not. Please go away and don’t waste my time.

The fact of the matter is this: while you don’t need to be Canadian to understand it… or even be well versed in Canadiana culture… it sure as hell helps.  It will have you in stitches… make no mistake about it!  The wit and humour is non-stop in this book. You WILL laugh out loud!

I sat on public transit, on my way home … reading this book.  Fighting back motion sickness (from reading in a moving vehicle – no-can-do)… I couldn’t help but giggle.  At one point hysterically.  It annoyed the Asian woman in the seat next to me as my laughter interupted her funky-chicken-head-bob nap on a few occasions.  But oh well.  Shit happens.  It was worth the occasional vile stare coming from her direction.  I’ve handled worst… and I’m still laughing!

The book delves into all things Canadiana… a silly guide for any and all newcomers (although, I fear many will not get the humour and take it seriously… something about humour getting lost in translation) to Canada.  From our extremely boring and uninteresting politics based upon and often mirroring England’s Partisan politics (that explains EVERYTHING) to the loonie and toonie, the wonderful beaver as our national symbol, dating rituals, diet, fashion, etiquette, our complex social structure and our love of all things beer and hockey… It covers it all.

So for something completely different… something funny, somewhat educational, totally Canadian… buy the book (Amazon.com /Chapters Indigo) .  It’s definitely worth it… and then some!

Here’s an excerpt that brought a tear to my eye:

Population: There are 30,000,000 people in Canada – all of whom have, at some point, frozen their tongues to the side of a chainlink fence or flagpole.  Even though their mothers told them not to.  Indeed, at any given time of the year, it is winter somewhere in Canada and someone, somewhere, is stuck to a flagpole. “Hap me, hap me. Tumbuddy, pwease hap me.”

Average IQ: see above

Handy Guide to Reading Canadian Newspapers: (…) As for understanding media (which would be an excellent title fora  book, don’t you think?), you may find it helpful if you try to imagine how each of Canada’s national newspapers might have covered a well-known historical event.  Like, say, (…) the 1912 sinking of the Titanic:

Globe and Mail: “Luxury liner allegedly hits iceberg; many lives have been saved by quick action of crew.”
National Post: “Liberal cutbacks to shipping industry cost lives as hundreds die in Atlantic tragedy”
Sun: “WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!”