From Mount Olympus…
December 4, 2009 Leave a comment
All the way from Mount Olympus with these interesting Olympic stories! OK. So maybe not so much Mount Olympus… but more like: from the Rocky Mountains. That – I believe is sufficient enough… There is a lot to be said – so forgive my longer post today.
So for a funny story … a good comedic satire that has taken two nations by storm… seemingly so. And No. Today’s post isn’t a photoblog but it might as well be for you to see how humourous this has become!
Syrup-Sucking Canadian Ice-Holes
So The Colbert Nations has taken aim at the Vancouver Organizing committee for supposedly refusing access to the US Speed Skating Team at the Richmond Oval. And in a satirical rant, Colbert called Canadians “syrup-sucking-Canadian Ice-holes” and encouraged the US to send in letter to “Canada” – ie: VANOC (because VANOC IS Canada afterall) tell us to stop being ice-holes. He officially launched the “Don’t Be An Ice-Hole” campaign.
Here’s the truth about the matter, from Ted Townsend, who signed himself as the “Chief Syrup Sucker, City of Richmond.”
“There has been this misinformation that skaters were barred from the Olympic Oval and this never happened,” said Townsend in an interview.
He said there had been a couple of incidents when skaters showed up and tried to get on the ice without going through the procedures set up by VANOC and agreed to by the International Skating Union.
But Townsend said there have been several training sessions for international skaters and there had also been times when sessions were arranged and no one showed up.
“We appreciate that most of this was done for the benefit of comedy and we have responded in kind,” he added, describing the cross-border war of words with Colbert.
Anyhow – what I find hilarious is that many Americans don’t understand ‘satire’ and took much of it literally. It went as far as the New York Times weighing in on this very misguided phenomena and I even wrote about it here about some American athletes bitching about what they deem is cheating and unfair practices. Huh?! OK… from this syrup-sucking Canadian ice-hole – I say: SUCK IT UP BUTTACUP!!! Its a FUCKEN COMPETITION DAMMIT – for gold!!!
Here are some of the campaign letters we got at our headquarters…
Canadian counter? Of course we did… The only way we knew how! Hmmm strangely enough – silence from the Colbert Camp… Perhaps he wasn’t too fond if the pink toque. Wuss.
As a Contracts Administrator with VANOC, I am asked to buy many different types of goods and services. Now – lemme make something clear here – I DID NOT PLACE THIS ORDER. In fact, no one in VANOC has ordered these items. But they are being made available to all athletes in both the Vancouver AND Whistler Athletes Villages. Approximately, 14.6 condoms per athlete (not sure how the .6 works into the equation – maybe it’s a non-lubricated, ribbed condom?).
Read about it here.
At the Vancouver Games, condoms are being provided by the B.C. Centre for Disease Control and will be available at two village polyclinics staffed by doctors and nurses under the direction of the health authority. Officials have ordered “50,000 to 100,000” condoms, which works out at the upper end to 14.6 condoms for each of the 6,850 athletes and officials expected to attend the Olympics and Paralympics.
It begs the question: what kind of Olympics are they coming here to compete in? Winter or sexual Olympics??? This certainly puts a whole new twist to the saying “Higher, Faster, Stronger” … Holy! But really – one should keep in mind that sex and sports – do go hand in hand. Condoms have been handed out since 1992 (Barcelona Games) and in 2000, organizers ran out of the 70,000 condoms ordered for the Sydney Games. They had to order another 20,000 more.
So… come to think about it… perhaps being a single chick, working AT the Vancouver Athletes Village in February… isn’t such a bad thing AFTERALL… Brazillian wax – here I come!!!
But for kicks, I found this article on ESPN – granted it’s a few years old now, but some of the stats are pretty hilarious!
UnderCover Po-po & Freedom of Speech
Now for something a wee bit more serious than the above.
Victoria’s Chief of Police Jamie Graham allegedly slipped up at a conference recently and was recorded claiming an undercover police officer was driving a bus organized by the Olympic Resistance Network to transport protesters to Victoria for an anti-Olympic Torch Relay protest on October 30.
Graham allegedly stated “You knew that the protesters weren’t that organized when on the ferry on the way over they all rented a bus, they all came over on a bus, and there was a cop driving the bus.”
As a result… the Civil Liberties Advisory Committee (“CLAC”) is making a bunch of ‘recommendations’ ultimately placating the protesters – asking the police to treat Olympic protesters with restraint and to be unobtrusive, where possible. “Let’s avoid replaying the 1997 APEC Summit incident” where 6 APEC student protestors were pepper-sprayed, arrested and allegedly forced illegally by RCMP officers to sign affidavit stating they would not be found protesting near or around APEC. They claim that in doing so, the RCMP banned these activists from the sites of protest and violated the protestors’ fundamental rights to freedom of assembly and to free speech–both rights are guaranteed by the Canadian Charter of Rights and Freedoms (1982).
(The pepper-spraying occurred on November 25, 1997, when a group of approximately 50 protestors opposed to APEC blocked a road that world leaders were expected to traverse after meetings at UBC. RCMP Staff Sergeant Hugh Stewart is said to have warned demonstrators that he would use any force needed to make them clear the road, according to a Ubyssey article from November 28, 1997. Protesters were pepper-sprayed by “canisters the size of fire extinguishers” within seconds of the warning.)
OK. So now you know. We are bad-assed Canadians. We arrest a handful of people protesting and suddenly – we are in human rights violations that rival China.
People want to protest. People want to do it where they want, whenever they want, by any means possible. People don’t want to be sensored. Or questioned by the police.
My stance is this on the subject:
- When you threatened the lives of our men & women in blue – you deserve to be pepper-sprayed and a karate-chop to the throat.
- If you step out-of-bounds and harass/threaten participants, athletes and police – you deserve to get arrested.
- You do something illegal – your ass deserves to be thrown in jail.
- If you are dumb enough to not know that the bus driver was an undercover po-po and successfully infiltrated your organization – you deserve to be pepper-sprayed.
- Know what you are protesting and make sure your facts are STRAIGHT. Don’t protest on misguided information… and put people in danger while doing so. Ignorant asses.
What blows my mind away is they expect to be able to protest without consequence. Protest is fine – but there are ALWAYS consequences. ESPECIALLY when you encourage violence, blowing up power lines – endorsing direct action AGAINST the Games… pepper-spray away Mr. Police! This is the Olympics people, not the Taliban. I WANT my police to be investigate, talk to, arrest where necessary anyone who poses and encourages a direct threat to the safety of the masses.
We always bitch and complain that we don’t do anything until its too late – well – now make up your minds people! I just think its funny on some levels at how ridiculous we’ve become in our pursuits of these so called ‘freedoms & human rights violations’ and how quickly we cry wolf, usually with little to no accountability as to what got a person there in the first place.
You can read about it here.
Now this is a subject I really don’t know where I stand on. Freedom of Speech. I don’t feel one way or another about it, but it is still something that is happening in conjunction to the Olympics. I can see both sides of the coin on this subject – and therefore, cannot take a stance one way or another on it. You can read more about it here.
Vancouver has passed a series of what is considered controversial by-laws that will limit free-speech and protesting during Games time operations.
Anti- Olympic and free speech activists have said provisions in the bylaw that will give the city more power to quickly remove illegal signs and restrict disruptive activities near Olympic celebrations could curb dissent and limit the ability to protest the international sporting event.
The bylaw introduces temporary changes covering a wide range of areas from fire regulations and liquor licenses to the use of rickshaws on local streets. This means the stricter sign rules only apply to commercial signs – specifically targeting illegal ambush marketing campaigns designed to capitalize on the Games. Officials say they won’t affect protest materials.
The bylaw will allow the city to remove signs that are put up without proper permits far quicker than they could under existing rules. At present, city officials say the process can take weeks or months, but during the Olympics it could happen in a day or two.
The revisions apply to commercial signs, which means non-commercial signs, such as protest placards, would be subject to existing bylaws, which require a 30-day notice. If a protest sign is put up illegally during the Games, the city would have little power to act until after the Olympics are over.
And as a result… anti-protester groups have filed a lawsuit against the City of Vancouver.