Iron Clad…. Something…
November 28, 2009 7 Comments
Waiting for the bus tonight, I was reading a local news paper and stumbled across an article about Feminism in a Modern Era (or something like it… I was bored and started skimming thru it after the 3rd paragraph or so)… It was mostly about THIS similar article and the backlash this Italian Prime Minister is experiencing for his highly & consistently inappropriate remarks… and then rambled off about the roles of feminists in the world and the do’s & don’ts of dating a feminist in this similar article and how after 40 yrs of feminism – this similar article claims women are much less happier.
My bus arrived and I left the paper on the bench, where I had found it. I was bored and very confused. Because feminism has confused both genders. Women take it to extremes: either you aren’t feminist enough if you still enjoy being sexy while enjoying the perks of feminist advancements – OR – you hate men for the oppressive behavior of some cultures that you feel the need to reject your femininity by looking, acting and behaving like the same men you hate and labeled GAY if you are hardcore feminist. And men… well either he has become a metro-sexual effeminate male or he’s labeled a sexist pig for still wanting to be a MAN. There appears to be no in-betweens. No balance.
Nowadays, there are far too many questions and simply not enough answers. Women hate being objectified and yet, there is pressure to reject sensuality and sexuality so as to not be objectified… and yet, feel unfulfilled in our private lives because of it. Not saying one ought to be objectified in order to feel fulfilled … but it’s simply creates more questions: Can’t a woman dress sexy & still be taken seriously without being objectified or criticized by both genders? Is it a lack of confidence and understanding on the part of both men and women that lead to these feelings of dissatisfaction? The lines are blurred as to what the gender roles are… I believe they are made up in the fly really – especially when it comes to courtship, dating and relationships.
Modern feminism has confused the masses. Feminism was never about emasculating men. It was simply about allowing a woman to be treated as an equal, rather than an object, cattle or owned by a man, especially considering that she then stepped up to the plate when the men went off to fight a war – she earned that right. She was/IS an individual and earned that right to be treated as so. But I suppose that by creating this very important equality, there was bound to be residual effects. The scales tipped, as all things happen with change. One extreme to the next… until we find a balance in between. But still, to this day, it’s still not fully equal. I will still get paid less for the same job because I don’t have a penis. I will be expected to work longer hours or harder than my male coworkers. I will be overlooked for certain jobs in some areas of the world because I have breasts and a vagina, because I am a lesser human being. And yet, I am still expected to get married, have babies, take care of the house and the family, while being a career woman and a freak in the sheets. BUT do not objectify me. Oh but if I want such things in my life – I am not a true feminist and am a shame to the cause. Because you don’t hate men. Because you might actually need a man to do certain things in my life that I, either don’t care to learn or simply cannot or dare not do otherwise… and you shouldn’t.
I’m confused. Do I pay for a date or does he or do we go dutch? What ARE the rules of dating nowadays – men say this and feminist say that? Should I want or not want to maybe consider marriage in my lifetime? Must I have babies in order to be a ‘real’ woman AND have a career in order to prove that I can do it all? If I am assertive in the workplace, I am a bitch… and if I am not, I don’t get promoted past being only a receptionist? If I pick up a wrench and work on a car… does that make me butch and/or gay?
It’s fucken confusing, at best. And I think it’s because we are letting others tell us how we ought to be rather than being true to ourselves. Men are confused by their roles and those who still cling on to the antiquated beliefs that I AM MAN, I AM KING YOU MUST OBEY I OWN YOU… well – that rarely flies in this modern Western world and, even I, a moderate feminist at best – would tell you to go fuck off to the cave you just came from. Is chivalry alive or dead? Is he too assertive/aggressive or not enough? Do I treat her like a lady or like a dude? I must say that personally, I do enjoy a MAN’S MAN… a bit more assertive on some fronts while still considering me as an equal in the relationship and therefore, not a one way street. I enjoy the opportunities in the boardroom that come my way and the options that are afforded to me to choose my lot in life. And I enjoy the freedom to be a woman that living in Canada has afforded me. A woman can and should enjoy the labours of her had work, both professionally and personally… just as a man should. But that doesn’t make me feminist enough, and therefore, a terrible spokesperson for the cause.
My happiness isn’t based on how feminist I am. It’s based on how authentically I live my life. Not based on anyone’s rules. Yes. Men will be pigs. Women will be bitches. We ARE different, no matter how much equality we seek. It’s idiotic to say we are SAME because we aren’t. it’s what causing so much of the confusion … why it’s like walking on eggshells all the time.
It kind of cracks me up that they spend taxpayers money on creating studies on feminism & happiness when the answers lie within. It’s not a matter of FEMINISM, although I appreciate what our Iron-Clad Women went thru to ensure I have the rights that I do. And I refuse to let someone, man or woman, or study, tell me that happier isn’t always better… If we lived a bit more authentically while taking the time to know ourselves a bit better… our personal happiness wouldn’t be determined by feminism or studies or who paid for what date or that sexy top one wore.
No. Rather, our levels of happiness would be dependent on ourselves. What a concept!
(Old Iron’ complete and utter bullshit)
Woman, who the hell gave you permission to get out of the damned kitchen!!!!
-Now go make me a sammich.
I am, of course kidding, but I think you have an extremely valid point in the “what are the rules for dating these days?” As a young-ish adult that is still active in the slow and gawky dance that 30-ish single people participate in to maybe POSSIBLY find someone their own age or older (and in my case, of the opposite sex) that you can tolerate for over 5 minutes without projectile vomiting, I am as confused with the new rules of approaching someone as a westerner is to eating Nutella, and actually approach that scenario in the appropriate way…. HONESTLY. Mind you there may be more hits than misses, but I do believe that it has gotten to the point in my life where dude, I am just too tired for that pretentious facade that most of these vapid boy toys put on to get laid, and refuse to prescribe to a mentality that promotes an almost animalistic craving for only one thing; sex, sex and more sex. Now don’t get me wrong, I am not one to pass it up if and when it comes my way, but putting on a mask to do so?
Not going to happen.
This actually does roll up into the gender identity topic in that I believe that the whole courtship process has been completely destroyed by the introduction of the feminist movement into the dating equation, and by that I don’t mean “equality” per se, but the complete lack of individual roles pertaining to finding a mate. Yeah, the roles of the male as the aggressor and the female as the demure waif may seem a little dated, but fact is that it WORKED. There were boundaries and social identifications established that took a shitload of guesswork out of the process and let you go about things quite honestly, instead of this gender-confusing nightlife that has been created and handed down from people that wanted to buck the system and “tear it all down”, but had no idea of either the consequences of doing so nor had any clue as to what was to replace it. Yeah, the 60’s was all well and good for exploding out of the conservative vein that the States had been in for quite some time, but what formed after out of the ashes was a completely self-absorbed bunch of idiots that in essence had an “anything goes” mentality: the purest definition of complete hedonism. Problem is, with complete hedonism there is no concept of restraints in any activity, which creates a scenario that, much like communism, it’s polar opposite, is completely unsustainable as it lacks either controls or definition.
Communism has too many.
Back to the dating scene….
So you, as either a man or a woman, decide that it was time to go to a local club / disco that you have identified is frequented by a desirable subject. After spending some time preening yourself, you arrive to a scene (socially blind to it of course) and find that apparently something in your appearance just doesn’t fit in the allowed costume directive to facilitate conversation with the local flora or fauna. Could be that you -gasp!- wore a baseball cap and decided not to load 30 pounds of hair cement into your mane, or that your jeans don’t look like they got into a fight with a pit bull and lost, but are instead in pretty good shape. Who knows. The next one is fun because here you have to read the SEXUAL role that you are to fit. Do all of the men (and I use that word loosely) look like they spent more time on their hair than a mortician spent reconstructing a dude after an industrial log chipper accident? Are his pants so tight that, if he actually had balls he would be talking in a wispy falsetto?
Guess what, time for you to hang up your man credentials, you are the chick tonight. Act coy and wounded, with a touch of melancholy (oh, and listen to the Smiths on repeat for about 12 hours; should put you in the right fucked up mood) and you should be good. Also be prepared to, after pissing off one or all of the other bitch boys, to not actually fight them but to strike awkward poses that you saw in a shitty anime…. poses that were done by the lead CHICK.
If you walk in and the girls are dressed fairly well but slightly conservatively, you get to be a man that night and are now in a club / disco that when you arrive PLEASE take down the location and a contact number because I think I might have found my new favorite hang out.
Meh, whatever. It’s easier to meet chicks at a brothel. At least there is no pretensions in a place that sells sex.
For those that make it to the end of this opinionated drivel: The reason that we did not put any emphasizing or witty pictures of either a person throwing out the “dial 1 for love” sign or of some other object that would correlate with the topic is that apparently we both were trying to write a fucking novella. Sorry about that.