On the mind and the inevitable loss of it
October 28, 2009 Leave a comment
So I have, as per a pretty apt description by KC, been “living in my head” a bit lately, and more for her sake than for those random few that actually take time to read this drivel, am here to explain the reasoning behind it. It’s actually a quite simple reason, so let me see if I can put it down into a somewhat digestible (as well as readable) format.
So, this is obviously a brain. On a silver platter. Kinda vile, but if it means anything I pulled the picture off of a gag site and the thing is actually made of some sort of candy and is floating in a cherry sauce. Looks pretty good though, thus the choice.
-Back to the point.
This is the place that all of this nasty garbage usually starts, as a human hand can’t feel joy, and I hate to say this, but I have never really seen melancholic toenails nor manic elbows. Sorry, just does not happen, unless all the individual parts of your body gain sentience and rebel against the collective, creating enclaves of eyes and battalions of hair follicles.
Woah, that would actually be pretty interesting. Would the new hierarchy be dominated by calve muscles, or would the index fingers hold dominance? -Back to the brain though.
There was this girl that I was dating, and it seemed to …..blah blah blah BLAH blah, insert the teacher’s voice from any of the “Peanuts” cartoons here. Needless to say it ended, but there is this residual crap that was left behind. No, not emotion, that is completely gone. None of that “woe unto me” and if you think for a second there was even an IOTA of emo eyeliner poetry involved I am going to hit you with a small planet-sized hammer full of non-emo fury. No, the residuals that I am talking about are those that are associated with the minutiae of daily life; things that your head had previously associated with said person.
It’s strange too, as it’s almost like you have re-routed neural paths to involve themselves directly with said person, and to not work properly, or to deviate to a sense of loss when that person is no longer involved with your life. Thoughts that you would have that had never had any associative loss or pain or anger or FUCK ALL in the emotion department involved with the process of just THINKING THEM now deviate into this odd area. I mean come on, when I broke up with this person PIZZA MADE ME MAD. How the fuck does pizza make a person mad? What did pizza ever do to you? Did a large pepperoni thin crust rape your dog or something? Did a deep dish ham and cheese make off with your plasma TV?
NO! IT IS NOT THE PIZZA’S FAULT!!!
See? That is a good pizza. It’s even smiling at you.
This just highlights a point that I am trying to make, and currently repair in my brain pan right now, and that is… the only way that you can move forward with this is to first and foremost discover these events that have now been modified in your skull, with the followup action being a total dis-association of the unneccessary emotion that you have now injected into something that in no way either needs it or warrants it. It’s not easy when the person that you allowed into your head left garbage behind, but it can be cleaned up.
Just takes some time.