Takes You In… Spits You Out…
October 20, 2009 Leave a comment
Someone asked me today… KC, do you ever ask yourself where you want to be in 5-10 years time?
First off – I hate that question. WITH.A.PASSION. I hate it asked in interviews. I hate it when asked about my personal life. It’s a very stupid question… however you can’t tell a potential employer that it’s an idiotic question which deserves an idiotic response of “Well yes sir/mam I do. I want YOUR job. And I will get it in five years time; I will take you down and leave you penniless. Now when do I start??”
I actually resent that question… as it implies that I am lazy without goals, that I am NOT goal oriented or a planner … I do not like the implications of failing to answer that question adequately. And that is far from the truth… personally speaking. I do have goals, aspirations and dreams. How I get there is my business. Not yours.
And of course the question posed to me this morning really had to do with another topic that just really *sigh* really annoying. The Coles note version of the conversation is that in 5-10 years from now I should want to be married, with babies and owning a home settled down into a life of … well… living in pure marital and maternal bliss.
But bliss?? Errhh… not so much.
Perhaps that type of bliss is another topic of conversation for another time. My idea of pure bliss is certainly not that. Maybe I’m a defective chick that way. Sorry. I can’t be returned to the OEM. There’s no warranty on me. Deal with it.
I don’t get this whole planning your life ahead of yourself. I am far to practical for such frivolities. I’m not talking about setting reasonable expectations and goals – realistic and achievable – TANGIBLE goals. But to plan my life out to the extent that I now MUST be married with 2.5 kids and a white picket fence by such and such a time… oh good gawd, are you serious? I tried that once and that was disatruous.
I’m not saying I don’t want to be in a committed relationship with someone important and special to me. Not saying that at all. But that will happen whenever it happens. When two people are on the same page at the same time. But I’m not about to chart out something that isn’t controllable – human emotion. I can control how I feel but when the stars don’t align… honey, I ain’t gonna fret over it! Lonely? Sometimes. But then reality sets in and I’m OK.
Why is it important to have the next 5-10 years charted out? Personally, I feel this take you out of the moment and into something that you can’t really control – its not here yet. I’m not talking about ‘saving for a rainy day’ (although I probably should be much better at doing) or starting/completing school, travelling somewhere fun & exotic, buying that dream car/house/boat/bike etc… Although all these things impact our emotional well-being and boost self-esteem and awareness – they are rarely about an emotional fulfillment that comes from what I perceive would come from a committed relationship, having babies and setting up home somewhere.
Different strokes for different folks? Apparently so too.
But this life isn’t a one-size fits all… and I don’t like to be fit into a mold of societal norms that don’t match the colour of my eyes. Capiche?
I can’t even guarantee that I am going to be at work tomorrow morning.
I can’t even tell you what the next 5-10 minutes, hours or days will bring about – other than the obvious insanity that comes from working in a performance driven environment. I mean even THAT has an ending which means I have to chart out a whole other NEW beginning that I hadn’t really planned on.
I can’t tell you what new and adventurous idea will pop in my head that will peek my curiosity and lead me on a fantastical and whimsical voyage.
What I can tell you that the stereotypical demands of men & women will not trap me. Because for me – marriage, children, house/home isn’t a necessity. If it happens… meh, OK. LOL… love and sharing love doesn’t have to be legalized by a piece of paper. And it cannot be controlled or planned. And if you try to do so – whether it be out of obligation or expectation or because it’s the next thing to do in the evolution of life… you will be surprisingly disappointed.
So what/where do I want to be in 5-10 years from now? LOL… I will have your job. Laughing about it too. And sitting on a beach in a remote location sipping frozen drinks. Care to join me? Look just go with the flow, won’tcha?
The rest is just gravy.
Now someone ask me an intelligent question please!