Yeah, it is almost five ion the morning here in (eventually) sunny Florida… And I am nervous. I go to the home base today in a couple of hours, with carry on ONLY luggage in tow and a bit of apprehension in the ole ticker. I may yet be a young lad in the minds of my peers, but no matter what going home with not the impending issue being one of wine, women or song, of which I have had a reference of all of the above, but one of UNEMPLOYMENT being the topic of conversation… I tend to be a bit gun shy when facing the family with such, and the family is the firs that I am to see when I arrive. A short taxi ride up to the parent’s house and I am in the door to house sit as well as dog watch for the next ten days, with full familiar support in tow, seeing as how I was recently let known that the friggin CHECH grandparents will be in the area.
Ugh, if life was not a spot of trouble enough.
I have, according to the calendar, been out of work now for the past three weeks. Don’t get me wrong, I am financially sound, but still the worry of having to look the fam in the face and let them know that yes indeed-dy I plan on not working until something says “HI!! WE NEED YOU!!!!” arrives is a bit daunting.
So there has been some apparent happenings n the world since I dropped off the map, and all are significant. To itemize:
1. The Canadian government dissolved itself due to a miscommunication in their current food laws that insists that yes, brown gravy on french (or is it “freedom”?) fries has been banned from all provinces except Wisconsin, and small parts of a currently unforeseen additional province… Aruba. Who would have known that Canadian explorers would have discovered one of their primary places to vacation?
2. Libya is now under the control of white flag-waving forces, the U.N. I digress, they can’t even pull off a simple CITY SIEGE without some human rights activists moving in and deciding that yes, though rape and pillaging is occurring, the fact that the local water table is at an untolerable Ph level that there needs to be a “strongly worded letter” issued?
3. U.S. gas prices are out of control. Solution? – SELL YOUR CAR FOR REALLY CHEAP…. to me. Email to be forthcoming.
4. Unemployment… Nay, FUNemployment, seems to be alright. Alright when you got a hell of a bonus and money saved, but I digress.
5. I miss my mates, but shall never miss KC as her and I are grafted at the hip.
Yeah yeah, no need to fret: I am in an environment that breaks from the one that I have lived in for a few lifetimes… the overseas one. I am still alive (and currently attempting to be that one thing that all strive for, human) but there has been some complications which have been overcome.
Another half-day Sunday, another gig at one of the pubs on site. We rolled in around four in the afternoon, right when the bar decided to open, and started throwing around our gear like we were annoyed with it. Instruments were rigged up, the PA speakers were put in their optimal places, and cables snaked all over the place, reminiscent of the Well of Souls from Raiders of the Lost Ark. The new singer, Mr. Ian, took one look at the madness that we were throwing together and asked a pretty riveting question about the whole thing:
“How in the hell do you guys know where all of that crap has to go, and what cable goes where?”
-I guess after doing this for some time you just know.
Here’s one of South African’s finest guitar players, Fuzzy, making rock n’ roll look easy:
And Rod, looking as stoic as usual:
Oh look! The back of my head!
Dan, GET BACK ON THE DRUMS!!!
-And smile like a fool, dammit!
It was hot as hell and we were in the Niger Delta, a place where no HUMAN should have to be… but we had a great time. I hope the next time any of you are stuck in a situation that just generally sucks the tail pipe of filth and horror that you are able to make the most of it… like we have.
So I was carousing around on my usual dumps of all things news, and wouldn’t you know it I come across yet another group of “misguided youths”, newsspeak for “muslims committed to jihad”, who apparently decided to almost kick off in Italy. It was the usual chaff, something about them:
“…setting up a group that aimed to incite discrimination, racial and religious hatred, violence and jihad against Christians and Jews,” police in the northern city of Brescia said in a statement.”
My interest was not piqued until I hit upon this line:
ANSA news agency reported that a note had been found on one of the Moroccans that called for revenge against the pope for converting Egyptian-born Magdi Allam, a former columnist for Italian daily Corriere della Sera.
-This of course being because the Pope himself had baptized the fellow into Catholicism himself. An idea started to take hold in the ol’ noggin that finally distilled itself down to one simple concept / scenario: what would actually happen if a terrorist, in the name of Allah and Islam, was actually able to perform this “revenge” against the Pope? What would the response be from the HUNDREDS of professed Catholics actually be, when confronted with the fact that another large religion has attempted to strike at the heart of their avowed path to the Divine?
It is actually quite frightening to think that this could happen during my life time as the terrorist groups that wrap themselves in Islam are almost daily becoming more and more emboldened through a mix of “tolerance”, lack of faith, and weakened sociological values, leaving the door open for some pretty extreme things to not only be conceived, but to potentially occur. In my mind’s eye, if something like this were to happen there would be a bloodbath that would make Auschwitz look like a playground, as two sects, empowered by belief, do more than shout words at one another or distribute literature denouncing the other.
Sorry for the doom and gloom but this actually does scare me.
This has to be one of the greatest medical breakthroughs of modern science: Russian scientists, always the most awesome in the realm of practicality, have finally shattered the barrier that separated me from the limited filtration capacity of my birth liver and my love of the fruit of the vine.
Scientists from the Russian city of Chelyabinsk have developed “a bio-artificial liver” which not only cleans the blood, but is also capable of “jumpstarting” a sick body.
Blood passes through a special filter to get rid of toxins and cleaned blood comes back. After the procedure, even if a patient has 30% of living cells (liver cells), the liver begins to work itself, the scientists say.
This will reshape the realm of libations for MILLENNIA to come, as the potentials are virtually infinite. Nit it a little too hard that night and want to keep on going? Well there buddy, plug yourself up to a second liver and in half the time that it would take for you to process your nightly drink you are back to norm and rip-roaring to go! Hell, you could carry a couple around in a backpack and swap them out as needed, like a friggin oil filter change!
-Alright, enough of that. I now return you to your regularly scheduled interpretations of life, love and politics.
Aghast is the operative word tonight, as the State Department recently released separate reports on all of the goings-on in the Mid East, on such things as the Lybian air force strafing protesters in Tripoli, the Baharaini Royal Guard bagging them some fine succulent anti-monarchy protester meat for a good din-din, with even the Iranian military participating in a fun round of “stir the crowd… with automatic gunfire”. Every report that I have come across mentions the words “gravely concerned”, “horrified”, and “fuck me, is Israel building even MORE settlements?!?!?! Well let those jew bastards know that WE KNOW WHAT YOU ARE DOING AND IT IS REALLY REALLY BAD and stuff.”
-Obama’s family last seen pondering these world-shaking events while sitting in a ski lodge sipping on cocoa and eating ribs.
What is the high-and-mighty Chief of the Free World doing to respond to this potentially global resurfacing of the Mid Eastern map? How is the Man at the Top ™ gearing up to assist potentially emerging democracies and alleviate the fear that fundamentalist Islam will entrench itself even deeper into countries that are on the fence concerning the makeup of their new governments?
Why coaching his daughter’s basketball team, of course! The political nuclear option is being exercised in the streets by oppressed peoples in countries that could emerge as some of the most staunch supporters we have ever had if we participated in helping the indigenous peoples get the governments that they need (note as well: this has all occurred WITHOUT U.S. military intervention, so the cost wasn’t passed to us! WIN WIN baby!!) and what does this schlep do? Fucking don those cross-trainers there buddy, and don’t forget that the opposing team’s power center is pretty aggressive for a NINE YEAR OLD, so you might want to get her some double coverage mister, pronto!
-And all the State Department can do is, according to my interpretation of the bullshit that they have been committing to paper statements that have been released, is stand on the sideline, AGHAST, while wringing their collective hands and doing…
Fuck.
All.
I will not be the first person to state this, but I personally believe that we have the worst, THE WORST, diplomatic stance we have ever had.How can an opportunity like this NOT be taken advantage of by our country? Also, you think Russia and China are going to sit this one out? If you do I know a nice boulder that has room underneath it for at least a family of four, and it takes pets!
Who let these numpties in office, and who has LEFT them there?
Hi guys and gals, just got in from yet another rotation back to the states and all in all a wild time was had by all, to include the better half of this site, KC. A step-by-step of the time is as follows:
Antigua:
-To quote my mate that was down there with me, Johnny Mac, “It may not be paradise, but it is not that far removed from it.” The people there were warm-natured and moved at apace that could only be described as “island time”, where everything just happened at it’s own pace without the need to rush or hurry… And everyone was just fine with that. Our rental was a two story that had it’s own private boat dock off of a salt water inlet, the sun would rise off of the balcony every morning at PRECISELY 0630, which was the perfect alarm clock, and other than a few bumps in the road it really was just a lovely time. The sunsets… were almost a theatrical production, as the bay that we would watch the largest nuclear reaction within an 8,000,000,000 mile radius was offset by a friggin active volcano (Montserrat). I’ll post photos at a later date as I don’t want this post to require mileage markers, but I am suggesting that if any of our dear readers could scrape some time and cash to migrate down there for a week, I guarantee that it will not be a regretful experience. If anything let me know if you are going and you might have a tour guide in tow…
Naples:
Back to the house with me after fun in the sun, and off to my second home (aside from the condo)… the Tamiami Cigar Bar. I have been in this fantastic cigar, beer and wine bar quite a few times and have never had one instance to where I can say it was not enjoyable. The quality of the wares are something that even Buck might raise an eyebrow to, and both the staff and patrons are something to behold. When KC finally got her bone-chilled derriere down with friend Butch in tow, we ended up spending almost every evening up there with every night being something completely different from the previous. Every night but the one that we spent at…
South Beach:
-Which was a COMPLETE NIGHTMARE. We decided to stay at a hotel that was deceptively titled the “Royal” Palms hotel. If you would like to view a review for this place all it takes is for one to do the thing that I SHOULD have done prior and hit up the various websites that list how HORRIBLE this place truly is, as you would expect the condition of a place in South Beach for fuck’s sake to not look like a flea bag hotel that you rent by the hour. No matter; the restaurant that we went to on Lincoln Blvd. can only be experienced to actually believe how amazing it was, and it recategorized the entire trip from “total waste of time and money” to “everything but the hotel was pretty alright”.
(Spoken in my best Yoda impression) Mixed blessings, this last rotation was.
Now for the…
Quick Commentary:
I come back from this three week hiatus and see that virtually the entire Mid East, to include a ton of North Africa countries, have erupted into pure AWESOME madness. I left work on the cusp of the Egypt thing really getting into gear after Tunisia decided it was time to eliminate the leeches that were squatting at the top of their government and come back to word that even friggin’ Bahrain is kicking off… and this, albeit a chaotic thing, is also a GOOD one. Who knows how the place is going to be restructured after the dust settles, but for once the region has the chance to throw off the oppressive rule of the invading fundamentalist viewpoints, and maybe reset themselves back to the pre-60′s pro-West ideals that they had. Powerful stuff if you ask me.
And then I get thrown into my inbox this Wisconsin farce, where there is to be a vote on the powers of the government unions and their inherent ability to vote themselves raises with a big “damn the masses regarding fiscal responsibility” mentality, and what do the Dems that have a MANDATORY responsibility to both the state AND their constituents decide to do? Run like the little irresponsible bitches that they are. I mean Allen West come out with both six-shooters blazing on these people, doing everything but talking about shagging their various mothers with a steam-driven pile driver, of which they ALL FULLY DESERVE. Almost makes a man snort with utter contempt for these idiots, but hey, gotta let the trash identify itself before you can take it out to the bin, right?
Manly manliness quote of the day:
It is such a critical time for our Republic, yet there seems no visionary leadership — it is as if America stopped producing adults. I have never seen a greater assembly of petulance and sophomoric behavior as what I have witnessed this week on the floor of the House of Representatives.
So on that note I would like to thank KC for keeping the bleg alive whilst I frolicked amongst the clover for awhile (and by clover I mean “sand-laden Eden”) and would like to assure all that I have some interesting times ahead to keep the 3 people that read this vomitorium of opinion and commentary on a regular basis abreast of, so cheers to all, and see you on the next post!
Ms. Fay, I am ready for whatever disciplinary action you feel is required.
The Afghan Quarterback
The coach had put together the perfect team for the Detroit Lions. The only thing that was missing was a good quarterback. He had scouted all the colleges and even the Canadian and European Leagues, but he couldn’t find a ringer who could ensure a Super Bowl win.
Then, one night while watching CNN he saw a war-zone scene in Afghanistan. In one corner of the background, he spotted a young Afghan Muslim soldier with a truly incredible arm. He threw a hand-grenade straight into a 15th story window 100 yards away.
KABOOM!
He threw another hand-grenade 75 yards away, right into a chimney.
KA-BLOOEY!
Then he threw another at a passing car going 90 mph.
BULLS-EYE!
“I’ve got to get this guy!” coach said to himself. “He has the perfect arm!”
So, he brings him to the States and teaches him the great game of football. And, the Lions go on to win the Super Bowl.
The young Afghan is hailed as the great hero of football, and when the coach asks him what he wants, all the young man wants is to call his mother.
“Mom,” he says into the phone, “I just won the Super Bowl!”
“I don’t want to talk to you,” the old Muslim woman says. “You are not my son!”
“I don’t think you understand, Mother,” the young man pleads. “I’ve won the greatest sporting event in the world. I’m here among thousands of my adoring fans.”
“No! Let me tell you!” his mother retorts. “At this very moment, there are gunshots all around us. The neighborhood is a pile of rubble. Your two brothers were beaten within an inch of their lives last week, and I have to keep your sister in the house so she doesn’t get raped!” The old lady pauses, and then tearfully says, “I will never forgive you for making us move to Detroit!”
I apologize for the absence as of late (KC, much love for picking up in the mean time) but this past weekend has left me a little… confused. Allow me to continue in detail:
-The band scheduled a show on our usual half Sunday, complete with our tried-and-true (-and underpowered) PA system, all of the band members on site, and three separate bar-b-ques cranking out some of the best burnt cuisine this side of the respective nationalities that were working the grills. With the venue for the show directly outside of the on-site pub we knew that the proper gears would be lubricated in all onlookers and that it might actually turn out to be a pretty damn good one, seeing as how personally I was going to be able to focus on playing the ole skins and letting our proper front man get up there and manipulate the crowd into a right frenzy.
Nope, not this time. Hell, the Huey and I ended up swapping out quite a bit during that show.(I would have embedded the video, but work firewall and all…)
It was actually the band themselves that asked, then insisted, then called me some pretty emasculating names until I finally dragged my happy ass up to the stage and belted out some verses. At first the usual panic attempted to take hold due to the fact that this crowd was not made up of fans of what we do, but of our actual COLLEAGUES and PROJECT MANAGEMENT, but that went away as soon as I got at it. All in all it went great, as we have polished up quite a lot from the last couple of shows that we threw out there as well as humanely fired our temp singer, and we were quite pleased with the end product. -Well, as pleased as one can get with one’s own product, as in hindsight I could have hit this tom at THIS time instead of THAT, my singing voice could be a little more on tone, etc., etc., being the eternal self-critic as all people do that make something. When the show finally wrapped up after an almost 4 hour set, we had a few beers, mopped up the gallons of sweat that we left behind, packed up and parted ways.
Good job Huey (drums, keys, vocals, recording), Rod (bass, drums, vocals,A/V), Neil (lead guitar, bass), Robin (rhythm guitar + keys, vocals, bass, live sound), and the ever amazing Fuzzy (ONLY lead guitar, but most awesome at it).
Quick aside: the reason that we have people that can play different positions is that we are all on different rotations, i.e. we go on time off on different schedules, and sometimes have to fill in for the missing instrument, thus the reason that I now sing and do live sound as well as the drums. Hey, we gotta make it work somehow!
The next day was when we heard what had happened during and around us while we were in a fugue state brought on by attempting to lasso sound into something recognizable and digestible.
-ODD things.
Event One: On our half Sundays off we always have a card game that starts at around the 1800 turn o’ the clock. Usually these games start out, as all do, at moderate, manageable monetary amounts, and seeing as how we play with the local money that slightly resembles the cash out of a monopoly game it all begins somewhat light-hearted. After about an hour goes by and copious amounts of alcohol have been introduced the game gets somewhat ridiculous with the amounts that are thrown out to the pot, followed by the neon sight that states “herebeshittalking“ getting turned on, but end of the day the losers walk out the same way as the winners and all ill-will is left behind.
This time not so much, as there was apparently someone at the table that was feeling pretty bullet-proof and decided to express that by harping on the people around until someone called him on it. One thing led to another and the final scene prior to it all breaking up had the locals on one side and the western expats on the other, with security holding the groups apart. The situation was diffused and the parties involved went their separate ways, but it could have gotten REALLY dirty, REALLY fast.
Event two: There is this guy that we all know and love here, and the following Monday we found that he had been let go as a repercussion of events of the previous day, from a completely unrelated event. I would prefer to not go into details as he actually was a friend.
So there you have it; probably the best show that we have done to date, with the guys and I pouring out all we had to make it a real blow out show, with our primary goal being to take the guys that were listening away from the rigors and hardships that is almost every moment in this place to somewhere else for a time, which we felt we accomplished. In the end there were tons of “attaboys” and back slaps, and the large bulk of the cats that were there really enjoyed themselves… but around us on the peripherals there was some chaos goin’ on.
No real end point to this rambling, it just struck me as odd.
(POST EDIT: Helping my friend out, here is his video for those of you who don’t want to follow the linkage love The video is a we bit long but if you are a music lover, you will appreciate it ~KC)
Say What???